Your Father Created You, but he cannot distory you; Loving Toxic Dad’s from afar 

TO ALL THE BRAVE KIDS WHO BROKE UP WITH THEIR TOXIC DADS

May 18, 2017 
To All the Brave Kids Who Broke up with Their Toxic Dads
 

You are going to be more than okay. Whether it was because of an addiction, constant excuses for not being there, an irresistible urge to put you down, an indifference or inability to give and receive love, his past, pride, selfishness, the fact that he’s weak or scared, or just the heartbreak of dealing with a man who’s broken, you did the hardest break-up that your heart will ever have to endure. You need to understand how brave you are.
He is your creator but it was his job to be much more than that. There should have been a consistent effort on his part – to nurture and shape you. To influence you with his strength, love and kindness. It was his job to teach you that people don’t leave when things get hard. That people fight for what’s worth fighting for. It was his job to be the one person in the world who would never hurt you.

A father should teach you how not to be afraid, to be open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. A father should make you feel like everything will be okay.
You didn’t give up – you realized that you can’t change people. You’ve reached your breaking point and said, screw him and all his darkness. You learned how easy it is to get broken in the effort to keep a relationship with a toxic person. You have learned that no, it is not your job. And no, it is not your fault. As the child it is the father’s job to always be there for you. 
You need to understand that he should have done his best to make you proud. To be there for your first heartbreak and your last. To help you get back up. To know you: who you love, what makes you happy, what moves you, what your dreams and passions are. To know all the depths of you – and you of him.

 

Your father created you, but he can never destroy you. You have realized that loving yourself means being strong enough to cut ties with him, and embracing all the gifts you have in your life.
I know that a toxic father’s power can be haunting – comfortable in its home in your bones. I know you can feel it every time you get close to someone. You’re incredibly uncomfortable letting them see your most vulnerable parts. No matter how much you love someone, you guard your heart as a way to protect yourself from any potential pain you might face. But none of that will spill out very easily. You don’t want anyone’s pity.

Your big, brave heart let go of the only man you truly ever needed when you were not done needing him. Because you know you are worth so much more than dealing with constant disappointments. You deserve so much credit that you definitely do not get enough of.
By letting go, by breaking up with your toxic father, you are fully opening yourself up to your ability to love others. Without the toxicity, there is nothing stopping you to be fearless, embrace life, and embrace yourself. Let yourself be with people who support and make you feel safe – who are worthy of your effort and love. And don’t ever be frustrated if you still love him, just be sure to love him from afar.
By AnnaBash

The Talk ; Lack Thereof Is Lethal In Our Society 

87 % of USA  women : Have Experienced Sexual HarassmentAnd that conversations about healthy sexual relationships need to start a lot earlier.

By Jenavieve Hatch

A new study has found that a vast majority of American women have experienced sexual harassment, from catcalling to unwanted touching.
Researchers at Harvard University surveyed more than 3,000 high school students and young adults between the ages of 18 and 25 in a study about healthy sexual relationships and sexual harassment prevention.
In the study, called “The Talk,” researchers discovered that 87 percent of young women have had to endure sexual harassment in its many forms. The study also found that, though most women have been sexually harassed and more than half of the men surveyed admitted to having harassed a woman before, almost half of all people surveyed “don’t see certain types of gender-based degradation and subordination as problems in our society.” 
The study connected these statistics to the greater issue of sexual violence and campus rape culture, as well as conversations that students are ― or aren’t ― having with parents and educators about healthy sexual relationships, consent, and ethical behavior. According to the study, failures in sex education, as well as lack of conversation about sexuality in the home, are leading young people astray when it comes to respectful sexual behavior.
Researchers found that 76 percent of young people haven’t had conversations with their parents about healthy sexual and romantic relationships, but that almost the same amount, 70 percent, wish that they would have. 
Danielle Lucksted, Prevention and Education Program Manager at Safe Haven Ministries in Grand Rapids, Mich., told HuffPost that young people should be engaging in conversations about respectful sex and relationships at a young age.
“To me, as a sexual and dating violence prevention educator, the ‘sex talk’ falls under a larger umbrella of talking to kids about relationships in general, and this is something that should start as early as possible,” she said. “I’m talking toddler-age. There is no age that is too early to start teaching kids about things like body boundaries, respect, asking permission, and letting them know that they can come to us (as positive adult role models) if they are ever made to feel uncomfortable.”
Lucksted also said that when these conversations don’t occur in the home or at school, young people absorb societal messages instead ― and those messages aren’t always positive or healthy. 
“The unfortunate reality is that if parents aren’t initiating conversations with their children or allowing experts to talk to their kids while at school, they are learning about sex from their television, their peers, or possibly pornography,” she said.
And the stats certainly back this up. Research has shown that abstinence-only education (in which topics of consent and healthy relationships and sexuality are left out of the conversation entirely) results in more unwanted pregnancies and STIs, and that abstinence-only attitudes can do incredible damage to survivors of sexual violence or harassment. 
As researchers in the Harvard study put it, “it is imperative that parents and sex educators proactively address healthy relationships with young people and that parents and other adults intervene when they witness degrading words or behavior. Silence can be understood as permission.” 

Snatched ; that I’m aware of  as of today.

Wooden porch Swing

Grill and full propane tank .

3 piece concrete prayer bench

Buddha statue 

Brand new hose reel 

Soaking hose

$50 hose 

Metal dog crate 

Medium Dog carrier

Small Dog Carrier

Rail Road ties 

Yard tools , rakes, hoes etc 

Fencing and metal stakes

Green cloth rug ( was inside on porch)

4  purple metal directors chairs , and 4 new cushions 

2/4 round back metal chairs 

4  5 to 10 lb raw crystals 

2 bags of road salt 

2 rebarb Tri pods to hold caste iron pots, specially made , never used

Solar lights / flood light attached to porch etc for protection 

My Dad’s ladder 

Wheel barrow

Butterfly Bush

Smoke tree

Fire Pit 

2 boxes of floating wood floor

Artificial Christmas Tree 

Iron Christmas tree stand

Numerous Grape Vine Wreaths

New un opened bottles of fish fertilizer 

4/5. 5 gallon gas cans 

2 small engine gas cans

Oil for small engine

Numerous spray paints and varnishes

Dad’s green metal cart(needs wheels) 

Small and medium metal troths

Large black animal water bowel ( heavy black plastic)

Gas logs

Collected seeds , ongoing for 10 years 

Small white dog house 

Camping grill   Plus –

2 gas for grill

Smithsonian Rock Tumbler( not used) 

Large wet vac gifted me by Carol 

2 Hens & Chicks 

At least $1000 in freezer / fridge, including medicines and misio (s)
Inside dresser. ( inside house) 5/8 brand new journals.
I could file $58 , I don’t have..currently . Being heard before same judge alone is not something I intend to subject myself to.

Those who could support me, cannot due to threatening implications from the source.

5 k expenses that are not over yet. 

A full afternoon of calling only to hear , sorry I cannot help you 

Offers of Legal Aide  I don’t qualify…. 12 years running .
Bear in mind , the harrassment

Not having hot water to shower for 96 days

Repeated physically delivered harrassments 

No paper work existed to have officers evict me  4 days into a weekend.

And no one who could helped.

Endangered ? Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ! Doesn’t matter.

No money , no place to move ? 

Horder? 

Sure , ask my friends how I hord .. Was trying to accumulate things for women’s 

shelter .

Took advantage ?

Hardly .

Bottom feeders do exist, as do kind folks and I happily acknowledge that I prefer

Reality and Mindfulness. 
This is not a pity party . If the sale is as predicted Memorial Day, I will be 

attending a family reunion , that I had to miss last year due to an ugly undiagnosed

Inflammatory Bowel . I missed seeing my relatives , including Aunt Mary who

passed last fall just shy of her 111 birthday.

So drop by the sale, barter the price down as it was * free bounty * 

I know a cycle begun with my ownership of property , in marriage end 

and all harassment in foundation , day to day is over . 

While I do agree there’s enough for every body on this planet, the direction 

currently is 10% wealth and the rest in abject poverty ; change the programming .

If not the example , then a warning ? 
Blessings & Peace 

DonaLuna 

Becoming the Woman I’ve wanted. By Jane Relaford Brown 

 (Finding Her Here)
I am becoming the woman I’ve wanted,

grey at the temples,

soft body, delighted,

cracked up by life

with a laugh that’s known bitter

but, past it, got better,

knows she’s a survivor-

that whatever comes,

she can outlast it.

I am becoming a deep

weathered basket.
I am becoming the woman I’ve longed for,

the motherly lover

with arms strong and tender,

the growing daughter

who blushes surprises.

I am becoming full moons

and sunrises.
I find her becoming,

this woman I’ve wanted,

who knows she’ll encompass,

who knows she’s sufficient,

knows where she’s going

and travels with passion.

Who remembers she’s precious,

but knows she’s not scarce-

who knows she is plenty,

plenty to share.
 Author: Jayne Relaford Brown

Resurrection     by Eileen Rosensteel 

Resurrection

~ by Eileen Rosensteel
I plucked out my wing feathers-they said I belonged on the ground.

I stopped dancing and singing-they said I had no rhythm.

I silenced myself-no one was listening.

I stitched my eyes shut-So I didn’t have to see what was happening.

I dug my own grave and lay in it-So I didn’t have to feel the pain.

So I could be at peace

In the emptiness.

There in the pit

I found my bones

In the marrow of my bones

There was strength

In the pulsing of my blood

There was rage

In my flesh-Desire

I clawed my way out of that grave

Using my strength, rage and desire.

Carefully I cut away the stitches

To see the truth

I whispered my words to myself

I started to sway and hum

To my own music

Now I am gathering feathers

Indeed , the critique that begins in unknowing or knowing 

the non acceptance in a society lately unaware , or not 

want to be involved has many detached , and at some point 

hopefully armored with “tools” , faith , goals and support , 

we rise and reclaim all the precious  , forgive and love self

dispite all challenges .
#WeGotThis

Mothering Myself;  Confronting My past was My way to overcome it.  It’s a a daily effort as a targeted “surrogot.”

“Mothering Myself”

In a society preoccupied with how best to raise a child I’m finding a need to mesh what’s best for my children with what’s necessary for a well balanced mother. I’m recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away. And when you give yourself away, you’re not a healthy mother and you’re not a healthy self.
So, now I’m learning to be a woman and a mother. I’m learning how to just experience my own emotions without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their emotions too. I’m learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone. And, very different from mine. I’m learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings because pretenses don’t fool children, they know their mother better than she knows herself.
I’m learning that no one overcomes her past unless she confronts it. Otherwise, her children will absorb exactly what she’s trying to overcome. I’m learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds. Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.
I’m learning that life is meant to be filled with as much pain as happiness and pleasure. And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfillment. I’m learning that fulfillment can’t be attained through giving myself away-but through giving to myself and sharing with others.
I’m learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life. It’s through living a fulfilling life myself. I’m trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn because I’m learning that letting go of them is the best way of holding on. -Nancy McBrine Sheehan

Boston and the High Road Protocol

Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based "Parental Alienation" (AB-PA)

On June 1 from 3:30 to 5:00 in Boston, Dorcy Pruter and I will be presenting on AB-PA and the High Road protocol.  In this presentation, we will unpack the High Road protocol at a professional level of analysis and we will explain exactly how the High Road protocol both gently and effectively restores the normal-range functioning of the child’s attachment system within a matter of days.

I just finished my Powerpoint slides for my professional-level description of the High Road protocol.  They are amazing.  I guarantee – guarantee – that by the end of our presentation everyone at that presentation will know exactly how the High Road protocol restores the child’s normal-range attachment bonding motivations toward the targeted parent within a matter of days.  Guaranteed.

I said Dallas was going to be powerful – and it was.  Boston is going to be equally amazing, but in a different way. …

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