The video below, with this blog validates my approach ; my grasp of what has been in
error and why psychiatry, psychology , law and medicine,
has come out of the darkness and acknowledge the myths that govern how society
looks at and governs behavior .
This video made my day, for it validates my forward movement from this detached
disposing , and projected manner, full of “experts” who have no clue.
As a male psychologist , who I looked up yesterday , still is in practice ,
still potentially doing much harm , told me in our 1st session that
“You are no longer a mother, find something else to do”
I was in deep trauma , I was involuntarily medicated, I was a survivor of
Domestic Abuse , and this “expert” had only these words for me.
I wrote him years later , and explained his lack of compassion and astuteness
were born out in his judgment.
Less than 18 months later , I had a professional relationship with a more
intelligent and compassionate female psychiatrist who responded to my question
of weather I needed therapy or not , with these following words began my
“Not without your children” and I was ‘allowed” with her to research, to
experience to use natural or alternatives , and who told me I was brilliant ,
and that I should become a doctor … I love her for the opening , a crack of light
to escape the black hole of 13 years of ‘ chemical straight jackets” and
set me on a path to finding my truths and my voice, and healing trauma that
included the Mother who was detached for reasons she never found her
voice to reveal and heal , and her denial of her brother’s rape of my 5 year old self ,
as she did her other 2 daughters being raped . No light, no voice,, no healing, but
lots of projected blame , internalized as unworthiness .
So though I felt abused, it was accepted as “normal” and our family was destroyed.
The former partner thinks it is the state , or federal government who should pay for my upkeep
releasing him from the pittance of $700 per month as he misses each and every dollar.
Our co ownership of property and protecting himself from factual truths , has been the driving
force of the abuse and utilizing his children against me has created a horrific abusive situation
that endangers each child and grandchild with trauma and an unhealthy legacy I am not
comfortable with leaving .
The abusive , and disrespectful discrimination were highlighted in a marriage to an
unhealed man, who also abused our 3 sons , projecting fault is mine only
and society aided in shaming them for having a “crazy” mother , and a divorce that
excluded any responsibility , embracing falsehoods that must be dismantled ,
truthfully for that healing to begin. It has been referred to as immoral and cult like,
and is being transformed as we witness the ineptitude and danger of extinction of
In that after a life time of watchfulness (even medicated and certainly in states of
PTDS) I have observed the very best of human nature and the very worst , and
those projections were my mirror , enhancing the unhealed trauma which psychiatry
referred to as “martial difficulties” ; the effects of toxic to me medications induction
of these mental states and the physical effects are ignored and blame is again
targeted at 1 individual who is a scapegoat , gas lighted, and much more common
than is allowed in our society than the facts.
I have recovered fully from the discrimination , the side effects of the toxic
medications , the knowing has been the better .
I stand with other parents , who have had adversity in professional
settings , who discount them as human beings, as parents, while supporting the
adverse , unconscious , and disastrous detachment of parenting that has created
even more clients for those who expound the “norm” which is a tyranny as it
disallows the creativity and uniqueness of the individual .
My healing, my recovery was made more difficult by the lack of offerings in
a D minus rated state circa 2007, as I watched in horror at the lack of response
and responsibility with regards to VaTech; but lots of blame at 1 person. Healing
was found in truths, in owning all my errors and finding the love and forgiveness for
myself that was lacking in a judging and critical world that projected my
unworthiness. I was forced by the lack, and the blame and shame, in law
in medicine and yes in the churches I attended , to do so and to find alternatives ,
which made me grow in ways that had been impeded .
11 very long and often trauma filled years as I heard and said words with
passionate pain , I could not avoid the folks that judge can be very dangerous and
motivated in that unknowing to do more harm and for this I find my strength and my
voice , knowing I will be considered a danger to the accepted practices of those
stuck in thought processes and deeds that lack mindful compassionate
Only last year was the court presented with my “alleged domestic abuse” which
shows up in 12 years of medical charts and ER visits , where I discussed being hit
by my(then) husband as psychiatry referred to this abuse as ‘marital difficulties’ ,
totally ignoring the induction and addiction of legal drugs , and the PTSD resulting,
which is in of itself abuse .
Change is messy but it is here , and I for one am ready, joining with millions who
have had my experience . Science only supported my instincts , with the proof of
DNA of sons remaining in the brain of the mother for life; so mental and spiritual
cruelty are and should be exposed in areas of medicine and law; NOW.
Preventing child abuse and domestic abuse, the co joined twins , makes
much better sense that, having it manifest as various “life lessons’ and finding
legalized drugs that induce nightmarish mental “trips” that need not be ; and sadly
very profitable as 70% of Americans are on some kind of Psychiatric medication
and violence rules in media, entertainment , and guns/ society, our acceptance
of the rape culture,accepted as “normal” , like Senator Deeds alluded , we are
moving forward but we have a long , long way to go…
The late Thomas Szasz, MD was quoted in the book Healing The Hurting Soul,
A Survival Manual for the Black Sheep in Every Family by Louis Wynne.
“Worshipers at the false god of ‘mental illness’ , have suffered as a consequence of
their misguided psychiatric piety, should find this book especially helpful ” .
I have been graced , blessed to find these truths and share them freely .
I have the back up of years experience , many resources including Drs, who know
how mentally ill women are domestic abuse survivors (30 years experience ) and
another who has the plan for a shift in the perception of the alienated
parent ; but knows well the DSM code that describes the person who alienates and
abuses children against the other parent, denying a part of a whole child .
My eldest son would make the comment after Humpty Dumpty , could not be put
back together again because he was an egg. Eastern religions have taught me ,
that egg can be put together again with surrender to the inherent right of each and
every soul to fill those “cracks” with “gold” ; wisdoms of our ancestor’s, long past
who have left us a wonderful legacy of not only, survival but grace. It is unfortunate
that we have had distractions and misinformation but just like ET, we can return
home, or at least call … for that home is inside of us . It only need be
safely guided and “polished” and in that the light is sacred and holy , and cast out
It can be done, I am but one who bears this out and transformation is upon us
NOW, as we are given too many examples of what does not work, there are many
more of what does. So each does have a choice; life is not scripted . so we must
mentor and support mindfully .
I have only scratched the surface with this post, but mindfully would state , that
need , want, desire to heal was for each of my beautiful sons , my Dad who has
since passed , my grandchildren , and as I began my journey , I found so many
folks, old and young and in between who have had the adversity.
Many are still in denial , as I pray for their waking, I avoid those who would still do
much harm, to me or others in their acceptance of “normalized ” ethics and social
practices that are anything but and cut across the board in all aspects of modern
society . I found in my need to heal others, I had to be present myself and that
healing has been amazing and ongoing , despite the impediments and often
unlawful acts against me, and I certainly own my faults and the manifestation of my
not being myself due to the unnatural state of involuntary addiction and Domestic
Abuse ; ignored and utilized by the man I married who had abused our sons ,
supported by his family and network of friends and associates .
This continues as we co own property , and will be legally addressed soon;
ending his “charade”, and abuse of our sons who had had to dispose of me in their
pain and to be accepted by Dad ,which has resulted in the past with more abuse,
Family Protective orders and arrest .
I have more than enough proof , and even if I am again ignored in court , I will
prevail , as last year’s revelations in 2 sessions , as I watched his 90 year old “as a
Christian Mother, support his abuse and realized his victimhood roots and superior
narcissistic life partner was and still is his Mother She has always bailed him out
of any dilemma, in effect finishing his sentences, denying him inner ,personal
growth and his rage spurts out as detachment, addiction and lack of responding in
responsibility, as he blames the other .
For 24 years until his falsified “no fault” divorce , and my awakening he has
targeted me , and I have tired of the abuse knowing it says more of him than
I at the end of the day.. His emotional development has been stunted , perhaps
in his lack of knowing and trauma , but making me and out sons
his targets has reached an end with the facts of his abuse and denial and
his cover up. His victimhood , as the more stable parent, omitting his abuses .
Please share with my stamp of approval , but please with mindful credit due my
journey as well that of my sons who I pray for daily that they know peace and
healing sooner than later for their best; and I will have deeper peace for their
having achieved balance on the parents who deviated from the best interest
of their children for varied reasons . It is my desire for them to have this ‘monkey’
off their back . .to liberate them , for there paths as men are fraught with
misinformation as to their ‘doings’ rather than their ‘being’ as well I know
God’s love for each of us , to find our way , hopefully to end the alienation
and to return to love , respectfully, without pain and anger and blame .
Blessings & Peace