Love without fear :The phrase, “I love you,” is an empty one until you can face these four fears. Dr Angela Heppner

Love without fear

The phrase, “I love you,” is an empty one until you can face these four fears.  Dr Angela Heppner

When was the last time you said to someone “I love you”?

These have to be the three most precious words uttered when spoken from the heart with genuine meaning.

Is this not what everyone wishes to hear? It can be so easy for us to express our true feelings to some and not to others. Why is this?

There are four main reasons why this phrase is prevented from being expressed freely.

  • Fear of rejection
  • The risk of expressing genuine feelings
  • Perceived unworthiness
  • Fear of being hurt

Don’t let fear of rejection run your life

It is common behavior for some people to have very strong feelings towards another and to not share these emotions. Look no further than the heroine in PBS’s smash-hit Downton Abbey (played by Michelle Dockery, in the photo above) and her on-again, off-again romance with Matthew.

Fear of rejection is a preconceived idea and condition that is completely tied into lack of self-esteem and confidence.

We can be afraid that if we share our true feelings and thoughts with another then they will not be reciprocated, or denied and turned down. Honestly, the worst anyone can ever say is a “no”, but so what? Life goes on without waiting for anyone.

On the other side of the spectrum; what if we did take that brave step forward, opened up our hearts and genuinely shared our true feelings, then they were accepted lovingly on the other end? We don’t know until we try. “Love can be a risk; do it anyhow.”

What have we got to lose? Let me clarify something here on the “ifs” listed here. Replace those “ifs” with “do”, and as Nike so wisely put it, “Don’t just think about it, do it, do it, do it!”

Not expressing “genuine feelings” can get in the way of love

That brings me to the point of having genuine feelings for someone, that is holding very deep loving feelings. These are true and indeed genuine, but some people do not wish to share them. These are heartfelt feelings that are being stifled and prevented from surfacing.

What follows is an inner struggle. Our ordinary commonplace feelings can be so easily shared; yet those deep-stirrings-of-the-heart type of feelings cannot surface. The no-strings-attached attitude is a lot easier to share freely because there is no fear involved in this scenario.

To share those deep, genuine feelings could mean a commitment to another person due to the very fact that we are committing our innermost emotions to another. The heart is talking, and not the mind.

Perceived unworthiness of self is another barrier

A lack of “worthiness” on our part can be another obstacle to love. We may even lack the courage to express our love for another because we believe we are not worthy enough share ourselves with others, or think our feelings of love are unmerited.

If we do not feel that we are worthy of something or someone, then we fail to pursue it. This could be a dream, even a lifelong dream. As fate would have it; if it is not meant to be ours, it will not be ours regardless. So why not try? The worst result of not achieving one’s dream could be the learning of a very valuable, even necessary, lesson and perhaps gaining a great friendship.

Fear of being hurt

We have all had a relationship (or two) with someone very special and near to our hearts. Many of us have also experienced hurt due to losing someone that we once loved, and maybe even still do to this day.

Our pain and fear of future pain can prevent us from opening our hearts again to allow love in. Here the fearful “ifs” come again: what “if” I get hurt again? What “if” this happens to me yet again? Everything happens for a reason; there is nothing that does not. There was either a lesson that needed to be learned and was missed presenting itself to us yet again; or many missed opportunities that have come and gone.

So at one point in our lives we have all wished to have that special relationship with someone; to find the “love of our lives.” How are we able to do this or to ever have this dream come true if we do not let love in and try? It is very true that some have been presented with this; it landed right in their lap and they did not pursue it; yet they are still hoping and wishing that this will happen for them one day.

Don’t let love pass you by

We may think at some point that we are not ready for a relationship or a commitment; yet this golden opportunity presents itself to us and we pass on it. We then wonder later why we are alone and have no one significant in our lives.

Everything is constantly changing and ever evolving, including us. There will come a point in time when we think we are ready, but that wonderful, glorious opportunity has already passed us by.

It’s a good idea to put full trust into the Universe and the divine in this process and completely follow our hearts. This is the only way to assure that no golden opportunities will be missed out on. When you feel it, do it. Do not allow the mind to interfere in this process and lead you astray.

The heart’s call arrived and was not heard. The mind took over and gave many reasons why something should not be or cannot be. Doubt, worry, skepticism and fear are, in all actuality, parts of the mind; these are not parts of the heart.

Time waits for no one; when these divine gifts and blessings present themselves to us, we are responsible to take them and have the choice whether to act upon them or not.

Regrets come from the heart, not the mind. Regrets are felt because the heart’s call was ignored. There is an inner struggle when the head and heart are at odds. The heart and higher–self speak very loudly and clearly, but cannot be heard when the mind alone is in full control in the drivers seat.

So why ignore the heart? What is to gain from this? The heart is where pure truth resides and only truth. The heart is where only goodness is found. Where do you think love truly resides? Is it of the heart or in the mind?

Love is a feeling, not a thought. It is divine energy and emotion that is fully expressed through the heart, soul and higher – self. The key to happiness, balance, harmonious relationships and divine love is the heart. This is the only key available to us.


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