Melanie Tonia Evans
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert, Author, Radio Host
This is a huge post, and I began with only a fraction , which is all very good information , so I include the link .
How Do Quantum Truths Relate to narcissistic Abuse
Our lives, emotions, mental capacities and ability to generate a healthy life are under siege as a result of being narcissistically abused. We become a diminished self trying to function, and often become so stripped and sick that we simply can’t go on “as normal” anymore.
There is no greater time and higher necessity to find the most powerful ways to change ourselves and change our lives than when in the midst of such trauma.
The victim model is not a Quantum model; instead it is a simplistic model of, “You did this to me, I am now destroyed and it is your fault”, and at first blush absolutely that is how it appeared to all of us.
We were good people trying to love sociopathic people who were hurting us immensely – and because of narcissistic abuse we lost pieces of ourselves, all self-respect, our mental, emotion and physical health, the ability to function and usually material security as well as people very dear to us.
And sadly, because of what happened to us we may find it nearly impossible to believe that we can resurrect our lives.
Myself, as well as so many others have / are living this experience. My own story was I had lost nearly everything around me and I was diagnosed with adrenal and psychotic breakdown as well as many other trauma conditions that were so severe I could apparently never be healed and would need three anti-psychotics to somehow live an existence of “diminished functioning”.
The world view was, “I was trashed, there was no way out of the dis-ease and medication that would mask my psychotic episodes and subdue my adrenals was the only hope.”
This was the victim model. There was no insight, healing, evolution and freedom in creating my own emancipation from abuse realities, or creating my organic True Self radiance within it.
Sadly this is the model that our world has been far too invested in – this orientation – “Let’s cut it out, medicate it away, numb it, get it to shut up and pretend that we are okay.”
It’s a model of trying to get symptoms to disappear without ever addressing the real issues.
It’s a model of “let’s stay sick, alive and medicated … and never free of the reliance on the pharmaceutical / psychology system.”
It takes all of the power away from ourselves to heal ourselves – it is a model of dependency and powerlessness.
The reasons this goes on is because we aren’t taught that we have the power within our own consciousness to release and up-level our trauma (the cause), which will then reinstate our being to the wellbeing that it naturally knows how to produce without interference.
Then all symptoms disappear because there is no longer a cause generating them.
No pill or drug makes you better – what makes you better is becoming a source of consciousness within yourself that allows your body, mind and being to come back to centre, heal yourself and generate the wellbeing it was always designed to create – emotionally, mentally and physically.
So what goes wrong, and why has there been intervention that has messed up this natural wellbeing?
The toxicity of our lives is what has done the damage. And the greatest toxicity we can have is the toxicity within our own consciousness – which poisons every part of our life as fear, pain, blame, shame and judgement.
In the victim model we will always blame someone else for the state of our emotions.
In the Quantum Model, when we are determined to get well by raising our consciousness first and foremost, we take 100% responsibility to heal our own internal emotions regardless of who and how people hurt us.
We recognise that as children we were powerless but as adults we are not and if the trauma is in our body, it is ours – regardless of how it got there and therefore is no other adult’s responsibility.
We do not subscribe to the powerlessness of holding other people responsible and waiting for them to fix it for us – especially as most unconscious abusers (who are in victim consciousness themselves) have no hope of healing themselves let alone us.
Today despite my diagnosis years ago, I am the most expanded, joyful, and free of fear I have ever been in my life. Because I continually find and up-level any traumas (which show up as negative emotion) from within my body – this state of wellbeing just gets more and more and more.
There is no blaming of anything or anyone outside me involved. If it is in my being – it is mine, and only I can claim it, shift it and transform it.
Does this mean I am to blame for what goes wrong in my life?
Not at all!!
It means rather than being at the whim of a life of “less than” choices being generated from unattended to trauma in my subconscious making me create “less than” choices, I now have the power to change first myself and then my life beyond description.
My healthy choices now create a life that is as healthy as my Inner Being.
The true reason why myself and so many others have healed the unthinkable and even “unhealable” is because we went Quantum.
We refused to believe “I AM this diagnosis”; rather we knew that the only reason we were in such a state of dis-ease was because we had trapped trauma in our bodies and that once we found and energetically released that trauma that we would return to natural wellbeing.
Hence why today myself and thousands of other people in this community are healthier and far more radiant and expanded than even way before being narcissistically abused – because whilst cleaning up the narcissistic abuse trauma in our bodies we also picked up, released and healed the original traumas that had unknowingly led us into narcissistic abuse.
Traumas that had been previously shutting us down, putting us into contraction and holding us back in many areas of our life.
Narcissistic abuse trauma is significant and it is so for a very powerful evolutionary reason. With narcissistic abuse, the trauma does not simply end when we are separated from the narcissist– even if the narcissist permanently exits our life and there is never any further contact or drama.
The trauma lives on inside us – until it is resolved – and that is independent of whether the narcissist continues abusing or not. Such a trauma is showing us something … that there is a much greater reality going on inside us than five sensory / solid / “real” stuff.
Can we go to a doctor and he / she perform an x-ray that states “You have 20 pounds of unresolved betrayal, devastation and emotional feelings of annihilation within you.”?
No! Of course not! But we feel it! Just because it can’t be physically x-rayed does not means it is NOT real. If you want to go Quantum this is what you need to accept – what you FEEL is going to be your truth. It is your beliefs, the state of your Inner Being and is the exact generation of your life – to the letter.
In fact “what shows up” physically is always the extension of what you really feel – deep inside you. No differently to the pro-baseballer becoming his dream that he felt inside him passionately as a child.
That is what you have to work on – your emotions.
And to work on your emotions you need to work on your deeply held beliefs.
The dramatic and life-halting experience of narcissistic abuse shows us POINT BLANK that what is going on in the unseen world (our emotions / consciousness) is powerful enough to affect our entire life.
If the unseen world was really nonsense – how can this be so?
The unseen world is far from nonsense.
Our emotions and beliefs are the complete basis of what we think, how we feel, how we behave, how we show up and who and what we generate life experiences with (which amounts to everything).
Therefore what this breakdown of our emotions is showing us is this: a signal to heal what we need to change in our consciousness / emotions in order to generate wellbeing in our life.
At the Quantum Level this is actually an invitation to access something deeper within self.
It is a true invitation to inwardly transform in order to start moving from Survival (how we were previously living in reaction trying to control everything around us) into Creation (living from a state of responding to unfold Life accordingly to our beingness).
Approaching Life in Quantum Ways
If we believe our consciousness is generating the wellbeing or otherwise of our lives we start thinking very differently about what is going to help us get well.
We stop trying to force things outside us to change, and we make it our highest mission to make the changes on the inside.
These become the real questions, “What is it inside me that is allowing this painful experience?” and “What are the unresolved wounds inside me that are co-generating this?”
If we are not emotionally whole, healed and free regarding certain topics we have “glitches” in our programming. This is a common issue in the human experience because we all have stuff! And we can ask ourselves, “Do we stay an unconscious victim, or do we go Quantum and choose to grow ourselves beyond these wounded experiences?”
I and so many people I know would not be here now if we had not gone Quantum.
To simplify what “going Quantum” really means … it means the understanding that there is no outside to combat, there is only the inside emotional traumas and painful beliefs to work on – which means not pointing the finger at, yelling out about narcissists and trying to get them exposed and eradicated whilst staying deranged, angry and intensely victimised.
You can’t get well by pointing the finger and being a victim. No-one does. I have never seen that work once in all the thousands of cases of narcissistic abuse recovery I have been involved in.
And the real reason is this – every moment that you keep coursing the negative toxic emotions of judgement and blame through your being, is a moment that you are denying yourself your own self-partnering, love, healing and emancipation from your own wounds.
Not only is this an act denying yourself your own love, it is also continually adding to your trauma by poisoning yourself. Judgement and blame are deeply destructive peptides (chemicals) to manufacture and have coursing through your being and your emotional self is being destroyed regardless of whether the blame is directed at self or others – it’s all toxicity.
When you wake up to this … why would you purposefully hate and hurt yourself so much and even pretend that doing this could help you or others?
Years ago, one of my biggest breakthroughs in regard to working out how to recover from narcissistic abuse, came as a result of watching the movie What The Bleep.
Whilst seeing Joe Dispenza on screen for the very first time, I realised something very vital – things about “neuron peptides” and “peptide addiction”. It answered so much to me in regard to why I could not stop thinking about the narcissist and what he had done to me, no matter what I tried.
Since releasing information based on What The Bleep taught me, coupled with how to combat it with Quanta Freedom Healing (LINK), so many others have been able to heal from “peptide addiction” as well.
The following is parts of this transcript from What The Bleep.
“The brain is made up of tiny brain cells called neurons. These neurons have tiny branches that reach out and connect to other neurons to form a neuronet. Each place where they connect is integrated into a thought or a memory. The brain builds up all its concepts by the law of associative memory. Ideas, thoughts and feelings are all constructed and interconnected within this neuronet. And all have a possible relationship with one another. The concept and the feeling of love, for instance, is stored in this vast neuronet. But we build up the concept of love from many other different ideas. Some people have love connected to disappointment. When they think about love, they experience the memory of pain, sorrow, anger and even rage. Rage may be linked to hurt which may be linked to a specific person which then is connected back to love.
We build up models of how we see the world outside of us. And the more information we have the more we refine our model one way or another. And what we ultimately do is tell ourselves a story about what the outside world is. Any information that we process, that we take in from the environment, is always coloured by the experiences that we’ve had and any emotional response that we’re having about what we’re bringing in.”
“…the hypothalamus assembles chemicals called peptides that match certain emotions. There’s a chemical, or peptide, for every emotion. When we experience an emotion, the hypothalamus releases these peptides into the blood stream and then to the cells in the body. Along the outside of the cells are billions of receptors, which are receivers of incoming information. The peptides sit in these receptors, attaching themselves to the cell, sending it information and changing it in many ways. It sets off a whole cascade of biochemical events, some of which cause changes in the nucleus of the cell. So now your cells are receiving a chemical (an emotion) – a chemical that is addictive.”
“We bring to ourselves situations that will fulfill the biochemical craving of the cells of our body by creating situations that meet our chemical needs.”
“Nerve cells that fire together wire together. If you practice something over and over again those nerve cells have a long-term relationship. If you get angry on a daily basis and give reason for your victimization in your life on a daily basis you are re-wiring and re-integrating that neuronet on a daily basis and that neuronet now has a long-term relationship with all those other nerve cells called an identity.”
So naturally all of this is what is going on inside us.
The peptides that our cells are used to receiving, which naturally in narcissistic abuse is negative emotions, are the chemicals we are addicted to. We are also addicted to going to the co-generator of these emotions, the narcissist, until we break the peptide addiction cycle.
I did a video series all about this several years ago. If you haven’t as yet ever watched it you can do so here.
In order to start coming out of our trance of believing that we are powerless and victims and to stop suffering the futility of trying to wrestle with things and people outside of us, we can go Quantum and realise that what we need to change is inside us, and we can only change what is inside us in order to change our life.
If I had stayed hating the ex-narcissist and blaming him for the demise of my life, my soul and my future, would I be living the incredible, glorious, expanded life I do now? Would anyone who is free and empowered and generating a wonderful existence after abuse be able to do so out of a model of “holding someone else responsible for the state of their life?”
The answer is obviously “No”.
I hope you are starting to feel the power of “going Quantum” and what it creates in your Life.
Truly it as wondrous as it is unlimited.
It is the Model for not only our New Selves, but for our New World – and I am excited beyond measure about it!
If you haven’t yet joined in with one of my 3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Webinars, I want to let you know that this will be our last one for the year.
So if you want to partake in a deep journey of healing and transformation, allowing you to get your Thriver recovery started before the new year, please join us!
Click here to reserve your space for the final Webinar for the year.
Next week, we are going to dive into Part Two, where I will share with you evidence of the most radical Quantum Model of healing I have ever come across, as well as information about Entanglement, The Double Split Experiment, and Holographic Quantum Healing … and more.
I hope you enjoyed Part One and I look forward to answering your comments and questions.