The Need for Filters
Many rue the day that they got involved romantically with a person who has a personality disorder. Though most NPD’s go professionally undiagnosed because they can never admit that they have a problem, most victims eventually begin to do research that lead them to the conclusion that they have indeed been victimized by someone with this disorder. One prevalent version of personality disorder is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and this one is dominantly represented by men, though there are female NPD’s as well.
Many women who have been a victim of an NPD state that they have been victimized by more than one NPD in their life. Some have had an NPD parent (usually a father). The repetition of being victimized by multiple NPD’s lead some women to feel like they ‘have sign over their head’ inviting NPD’s to seek them out. And, in a way, this is likely true. Once victimized by an NPD, many victims are ‘primed’ for yet another round from yet another predator.
The dynamic that gets set up in a victim-predator relationship can get ‘set’ into the victim’s consciousness, leading them to indeed signal to other potential predators that they are an inviting ‘mark’. The best way to ‘turn out the lights’ and tear down the sign that attracts NPD predators is to seek qualified clinical counseling to learn how to permanently end victimhood. Secondarily, it is important to begin practicing good habits of ‘filtering’ when meeting new, potential romantic partners, so that you do not repeat past errors.
Below are ten filters, listed in a lose priority, that might help the reader from becoming a victim of a predatory NPD. I’m sure there are others, and the good reader is invited to add to the list in the ‘comments’ section.