Emotionally detoxing, is a purging of the soul that is very difficult to
share for it is very personal , very much …
I cannot recall an outstanding Christmas , as a child , for we were
not middle class, nor did we have “enough” of anything.. including
demonstrative love. I received 1 box, with all inside that year discounting
the outfit that came for Sears & Roebuck for holiday season. Fruit & nuts
We met just before Thanksgiving , and I am sure he needed
holiday dates , and he has tired of , or could not control the gal he was
dating so I drew the short straw . In the mode of narcissism, we were
engaged by his hometown , Christmas parade , and the ring on my finger
was princess style, with chips , which he said to not show off , but it
happened. The beady , hawk eyes crone was not amused as she had altered
my dress for his car club party , which I noted but dismissed .
My Christmas’ took on a whole other joy after our 1st son, but in the mode
of never knowing enough , and his non supportive , I became so depleted
I was in agony with regards to holidays ..
I understand this with regard to so many folks and for years now , I know I
need to stick close to home and delve into the deeply profound love and
spirit I have , the gratitude, and joy . tempered with observing with
these past few years , has brought me to the following :
One of my favorite writers and performers, a lovely reminder of my past
that I retain . And yes I cry, releasing the pain that becomes anger
, anger that destroys , voices never heard and I move past it, to a
calmer , sweeter place.
I am removing all visible memories of my having sons as men
and often women are challenged or take advantage by my passionate
and vocal efforts and emotions concerning the abuse of my 3 sons and
the legacy as that has been the inheritance of 5 beautiful grandchildren .
The quality is not great but my intent is to Celebrate you Home , in love
to your family of heart , in heart .
I am home , in my heart, in my house, in my town and I honor my tribe
With all that I am .
Blessings & Peace