Soul Mates & Grace

Today a gal pal saw my struggle with cash flow and gifted my lunch . I had a lovely

chat with 3 intelligent and present men of a certain age who heard me 10334347_10154147757235717_3121557232334456732_n me on my court outcome and offered wisdoms that only such men offer .

It does my heart good to live where I do and want never to leave until my earth

suit is no more . Until then I would prefer to lease , with poor credit but 1/2

ownership in a commercial property and intentions to begin cockling and learn

more of being an end stage death dula , sharing with the family a more peaceful

at home , natural exit with all present that can and wish to be . I saw the peace

of Dad’s labor to exit his body assured he was guided and supported , by spirit

that he looked upwards to.. It was a type of birth and I knew it well and I rejoiced for

his as his spiritual mother .

I am in need a secure home with a mindful landlord in the Floyd area. I want

privacy as a write, reader , researcher , always living in the moment and I prefer

guest call first . When expressing that is necessary, and ignored , as well are request

for a contract , that I type up , required very dangerous repairs are ignored , I am back

in a ‘marriage ‘ of neglect/abuse that has been a trauma since childhood along with

moving .

 

I did the same thing to our kids , and I guess I thought it was ok because we were home

owners and moving up in house size . The 3 acres I find appealed to my heart and soul

and it had more to do with a 400 foot driveway , than being in an upscale neighborhood

for me. For him it was party central and the kids had their relatives and friends over. I was

was considered lazy for not wanting to be a working mother of 3 , on his arm when ever he

wanted and wherever he wanted and doing what he wanted . So I fought hard for family

trips beyond the families’ beach home.

Home is a haven away from a rushed society . I consciously preferred staying home and

sharing responsibilities , but he clocked out after work and if he came home it was surface.

Surface, describes his disconnect which becomes worse as if he has dementia , which could

be possible as he smoked aged 14 to 63 ish . However, for whatever reason , his voice has

prevailed to guide him, and he is a very bitter man who thinks I should pay and he should

have my physical address as of 3/24/16, the 4 or 5th request .

As Easter has been a very spiritual and open portal , for me, bearing fruit , I have written

descriptions of the house I long for , and prayers to make an easy transition , with funds

forthcoming to make that possible . I have not been able to pay those who have moved me

these past 3 local moves due to not having an increase in 10 years ..not to speak of.

I do not plan to take any government money because that is an entitlement as it stands

now .

I now know I cannot take any chemical man made medicines and must at all cost remain

chemical free. I do believe I have been treated time and again for chemical poisoning and

if all of medicine is as inventive in creating disease and cures and chemicals in conjunct

with powerful chemical companies ; including 13 years as a “mental patient “.  A bit of

early 70’s experimentation as well as relatives in house of the AMA persuasion had

adapted me to taking pills to fix things .  Of course I knew I was ill physically and

declining , as physical ailments and more medications became norm; no one noticed

and blame included the weight which ballooned !.

Of course no one in family or friends knew what to do as I was early in on the bipolar

epidemic .Involuntarily addicted to Xanax prescribed for a sever spastic colon , 12 days

at 5 per and I was highly toxic , and incarcerated for 17 days away from 3 sons aged 11,

8 and 6 , who am sure had no reassurances, as I am knowing the eldest experienced

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder trauma as he tried his best to aide me as I had my chemical

induced nervous breakdown , and was never healed of that.

Along with the evocation of evil that pour out of me repression, depression and the

advantage   and projected blame of my partner were obstacles as well as non support

or understanding that I was in an abusive relationship, normalized by friends who for

the most part were in like relationships .

My sons were affected though none admit that . The last 2 weeks have reminded me by

a highly toxic reaction to a prescribed man made chemical that I was being treated for the

symptoms and the disease was marginalized as the only culprit..

Exiting this house that deserves so much care, but as I write this the farmer across the way

is spreading his chemicals on his acres , and so I came inside to write and surrender to the

cramping in mid back that signals  a state of toxic to me . So magnesium has been ingested

a cup of lemon ginger tea is coming up and a book or movie .

The living bereavement of child abuse via parental alienation is another epidemic , and so

many are rising to end this often continuation of domestic abuse through a system that is

long overdue a mindful and conscious update  !

And so it shall be. I wish you all your heart’s desire this sacred holy spiritual day not for

the death but for the resurrection , that which we all are entitled to in this earth suit

or some other form. life everlasting , the never ending story  ~

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