My Osho message tonight was ‘ travel ‘ which I pulled a few weeks ago,
and I dreamed of beloved . This dream was explicit , as there was his face .
I know this face as beloved, but he knows me not , as his enough. All my life
I have been empathetic, to men who had repressive hurts , that became
aggressive and aimed at me. When I refused to be ‘it’ and mirrored his
anger and aggression back, I became a bitch . . This began in childhood
and I was responsible; what is lack of attachment and nurture , that
can adversely affect an infant. I believe us both to be sensitive , highly
and I believe that Mom was overly medicated in giving birth to us and
natures were nurologly adversely affected . Super hypersensitivity .
What they call Autism now? , was drug induced from inception , Mom smoked as
did Dad . God only knows what she was prescribed , ate etc , and having
lost Joyce Marie so tragically ….Dr’s kindness to not stress her out , knock
Out and forceps !
Any who, I’m deep in to spirit , and having been fine tuning my paperwork
for a full tilt week of copying , divesting , healing and whatever I want
balancing my self as my thyroid resets , and my heart adjust , as I expect
a celebration in 9 days …of a sort , such dreams are made of ..
I thought of this quirky song , as my self came at me , coming and
going , scanning or fulling reading my papers and hand written
or typed papers , and fields of gold unfolded towards many years of
writing . When I read others words that collide with my grasp
of things it’s ‘home’