Mom’s knowing 

For many years my sons have vemently avowed that I know nothing . I do acknowledge 

they have their own codes to live by as do I an it would appear that I never had then 

or forsook them , not knowing I was in the dark about who I had married and I was 

subjected to domestic violence/abuse by Peter Pan with what appears DSM codes 

bonus point  for his win/win, take it all , till she’s dead as has been revealed .

This is supported behavior of which many have experienced or originated. It

is seldom healed, this separation from loving, trusting, or hearing any one but

yourself .

There is that abuse of the parent by a partner, family member(s) professionals 

is accepted by those who critique by the standards and practices , that are antique , 

corporate , life altering and death and disease , that has addicted many unwilling 

consumers .

In

 I was one who survived 13 years of toxic man man chemicals to treat bipolar that

was PTSD, unhealed, rape of my 5 year self and an abusive , man who presents 

his Narcisstic , psychopath behaviors which get worse with his aging , as does

his self care , and his negative abusive manner just intensifies as our court visits 

accumulate he threatens to reduce my paltry spousal , done his way when I was 

not myself and represented by his lawyer’s former partner! Wicked stuff ! 

Like grave robbing , but made worse by the lack of professional expertise and or

lack of education in professionals who may be jaded by the same ole same ole 

‘Boy’ system that just could be John Keddedy’s reference to ‘secret societies ‘ 

as we are beginning to have a few ‘ theories ‘ revealed . 
And it’s getting more and more transparent . I wish to expose these fails, so that 

true  forgiveness can take root. I don’t know by sons now and they flip flop but I have 

some legitimate reasons beyond heartfelt ones to transform this aspect of my life

with clarity , that in time they might have a more balanced and forgiving out look

on a critical human relationship that was challenged over and over , and it broke.

I will not allow that they lost their Mom , for some many egotistical , vengeful

folks who decry that for acceptance they had join in the total aniilation of Mom .

Secrets and lies always fail , always , the truth like the air , water , sun heavens has

like many of us been tarnished it shall be golden as we polish our hearts of gold 

of collections of dust motes,
Happy New Moon 

I have a lunch date:) 

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