Grieving an abusive woman, who was never a mother.

It is so sad that conditions exist that keep anyone in a constant state of grief ,and unhealed PTSD , as the residual has profound effects just as this woman and Mother describes her daughterhood , the longing still apparent .

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am grieving a woman, who as far I know, is not dead.

But, she is dead to me.

I’m grieving an entire abusive childhood.

I’m grieving a mother who wanted me abused, in the worst possible ways.

I’m grieving not having a mother who loved me.

I’m grieving not having safety, love, being cherished.

I’m grieving being made to be a mother, so young.

I’m grieving all the fear, pain, aloneness, anxiety, suicidal thoughts… all experienced so young.

I’m grieving a mother who failed in so many ways. Intentionally.

I’m grieving all the things a good mother and daughter do, I never experienced.

I’m grieving a mother who blamed and used me as the scapegoat, in such cruel ways.

I’m grieving all the tears I’ve cried.

I’m grieving a carefree childhood – where you can just be a child, I never had.

I’m grieving my innocence being stolen so…

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